David's Middle School Graduation

My son David graduated from the Middle school this year. I suddenly realized that something changed significantly in our lives and things will not be the same as they were for the last 14 years. While this occasion is not a turning point event such as high school or college graduation, it made me realize that my son’s childhood is over and that we have another adult in the family. In other words – beware, high school student in the house!

This post will focus on the Middle School dance and the Graduation ceremony along with some funny episodes we encountered on the way.

The Middle school dance was the first semi-formal event for the students. It all started with the letter advising the parents that their kids were only 14 and that tuxedos, long evening gowns, limos, or taking kids off school to take them to a spa before the dance was not encouraged or even permitted. I have to admit that the letter was somewhat a shocker to me: I love formal events, love to dress up, and love limos, but consider something along those lines for 14-years-old kids would be completely out of my spectrum of thinking. I could not believe that the school had to issue such a proclamation (obviously based on their prior experience) and that there would be parents who would consider all or some of these things for their still very young kids.

Apart from the ‘letter’, the middle school dance was a fun event. Many parents volunteered to make this it a special experience for the kids. Some parents made decorations or organized catering; others served food, chaperoned, decorated the gym for the dance, etc.



The kids would not see the decked out gym all the way until the dance so the element of a surprise was there too.
Here I would like to include a tip on how to turn your child’s special event into a miserable one: sign up to be a chaperone at the dance, and do not ask your graduate if it would be OK with him. I work full time, and not just any full-time, Wall Street full time. With such work hours, I did not get engaged into too many school activities and felt an extreme need to express myself in light of my son’s graduating middle school. David was appalled at first and said, “Mom, I am very pleased you are trying to take part in my school events, but chaperoning at my dance!!! You should have at least asked me.” We settled on my being at the dance only for the first hour pretending I did not know David. When I suggested that maybe I would not chaperone, David said ‘OK, it would be kind of nice to have you there. Besides, you cannot say ‘yes’ first and then not show up’. So my teenager gave me two lessons: do not over express yourself as a Mom, and stick to your promises. At the end of it, it was a super fun one hour.


David and his friends before the dance at our home.



A week later, the actual Graduation ceremony followed. Even though it took place on a week day, the family gathered to share this occasion with David. The event had several typical staple moments with speeches and wishes of success but also was filled with warm touches which highlighted how special the event was. The students walked through the aisle to their seats so everyone could see them; the most extraordinary achievements were recognized, and the kids even got a chance to go wild for a short time with the refreshments and running around after the ceremony.





As for David, he is starting High school with five Honors classes out of five possible making me very proud of him.


On the last day of school David brought his yearbook home. Unlike yearbooks from previous years which just contained black and white pictures, this one had color pictures, tributes to all important sporting events at school, pictures of all Honors Societies (David is in the French Honor Society), and booster messages from parents. The kids and teachers signed each other yearbooks. This will be such a great memory for David as it is the last year he and all of his classmates stay together (some of the kids will move to different high schools).



I ‘d like to finish this post by sharing the disaster-turned-success story about our yearbook post. The school sent a request for kids’ pictures and booster messages in October with the deadline in April. Since I only get few hundreds emails per day, I missed reading this one and when I finally found the message, it was way past the deadline. While I was crying hysterically about being a horrible mother who was not even capable of submitting a booster message on time, Ray who never loses his cool suggested to get in touch with the school and see what we could do. The ‘yearbook committee’ at school was exceptionally accommodating. While the book was ready to be sent to the printer, they agreed to add an entire page so both Ray and I and David’s dad had a chance to prepare our posts. Of course, the whole page would cost $130 where the regular size message would only cost $16.

At the end, David loved his page! When we looked through the book at home, we found many more whole-page posts placed after David’s so there probably were more parents in Mahwah who did not read all of their emails in time.
David’s graduating the middle school feels like he has closed the last page of his childhood book. He is still often acting like a kid and needs a hug every now and then, but then who does not? At the same time, he is getting more and more independent every day and has started his first job making and selling the best gelato in North Jersey.

I am really looking forward to the high school experience; it will be a change, but it will be a great adventure too!